


I do not want to be a survivor

by torkito22



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Death, POV Stiles, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-26
Updated: 2013-12-26
Packaged: 2018-01-06 05:46:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,083
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1103112
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/torkito22/pseuds/torkito22
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>(It's funny to talk about my life as a simple'' this'') and I decide I will not do in bed because it would be too cliche and I'll have to die, I die with class and not as a simple death cliche movies Drama .</p>
            </blockquote>





	I do not want to be a survivor

**Author's Note:**

> hey guys, this is my first fic here, hope you like it, sorry for the mistakes, english is not my first language

I do not really take it anymore , seriously , sometimes I find myself thinking how put up with it for so long .

I most often feel alone , all alone , I want to tell you something about my fight with Derek Scott and he is always with Isaac or Alphas fighting against evil to save the world . Since he began dating Isaac , was previously with Alisson now every time I and Scott are alone here at home he gets a call from Isaac asking to go to the Scott mansion to see it or something .  
But the majority of the time I think Scott did not really want to know what you want I have to say , I actually think that nobody wants .

I'm almost 3 weeks without talking with Derek , because it happened all over again . We fight as always and my fights with Derek I always hang out with some purple eye and purple parts of the body by the punches he 's , I do not care much to catch Derek because most of the time we were days , weeks and even months without speaking ( it has happened once, we stayed 2 months without speaking ) . But in the end he or I ( mostly I 'm tired but I 'm hoping that this time he came up to me , I'm tired of being the little bitch that gets going after big - Alpha - Fucker Derek - Hale ) comes back and we have a beautiful night of sex and all around the thousand wonders ( this can be kind of cliché but true )

But I'm tired of waiting for him , tired and this time not going after him , I will not . Sometimes I cry myself so I try to relieve myself with someone else Scott is always busy with Isacc , Jackson , ah let's be honest I never really liked him as much as he has a nice ass , Boyd was always the quiet guy that I do not even know if there's any feeling , Erica not trust it for much but I like her a lot, Alisson after that ended with Scott spends all his time training with his father or doing whatever wHAT Lydia , Lydia when not doing whatever wHAT with Alisson , being the beautiful and intelligent girl who goes dumb and lovely and much less Peter , that old psychopath, I would never trust it for more that deep down inside I like your 'friendship' because sometimes I was fought with Derek that he came to give me support and say that I should go after Derek and stuff and he always convinced me , as strange as it is but anyway it does not matter .

But I do not feel comfortable talking with Scott nor ever with any of them . I've thought about going to a psychologist but I see no feeling in talking to a person you've never met in life that is only there to hear you talking and then get your money then most of the time I prefer to tell things to myself and pretend that I understand myself and I 'll be fine and end up crying .  
I'm about to do something that will change my life ( or not because I will not have another after I do ) . But I think after I do, I feel free , I'll feel better in a much better world, where I will not have to endure any werewolf trying to kill me and stuff .

I do not want anyone to feel guilty after I do this ( as much as I want Derek to feel at least a little guilty about it ) or not , do not know if anyone really matter , I know everyone will cry and stuff the type , but I will be one among millions of teens who commit suicide each year and I know that some time later everyone will forget who I was .

  
Finish writing my suicide note , put it all on my death and why I'm doing it . The lay on the bed for anyone to take and read and feel how I 'm feeling right now (of course after all that muvuca , who will do and stuff) . I hope someone notices the letter and it does not take ( WHAT I think it will happen because once they find me dead in my room nobody will want to go in there ) .

  
I go to my father's room , I open the box that sits inside the Wardrobe him and see a beautiful brown middle green shotgun with the golden trigger that he has kept for any emergency. A beautiful weapon to kill , in my opinion . I realize I'm hungry and can not die hungry then go down to the kitchen to prepare Eggs , Bacon , Toast and take almost a liter of orange juice with the meal but as this is my last meal , I do that allow self - .

I climb up to my room grab the shotgun that I left on top of the computer desk . Stop and reflect on the situation but I 'm not sure what I'll do , I do not really take it anymore , I 'm suffocating , I can not stand fights , can not stand it I always feel alone, be dropped by all the Pack ( and I still think always to find that all the Pack just kind of me ' respected ' and talk to me ( unless I knew Scott was my friend , been going on since childhood but I think our friendship has been lost a bit as time ) as I was the companion of Alpha ) .

I think a little more about it and I 'm really sure what I'll do , I really do not want to be a survivor , not, no more .

  
I think where I 'm going to do all this ( it's funny to talk about my life as a simple '' this '') and I decide I will not do in bed because it would be too cliche and I'll have to die , I die with class and not as a simple death cliché movie of Drama , I could do in the bathroom but would be cliché .

I decide I will do it in the middle of my room because it was the way I found less cliché .  
Sit kneeling on the floor put the shotgun in my throat , tickled , I think again if that's what I want to do and decided that yes, I really do not want to be a survivor , not more.  
Pull the trigger .  
I hear a loud bang and then everything goes dark


End file.
